not just for boysAnymore
You know, those cute little reproductive organs residing between your (sexy) hips….
In case you didn’t already know, those puppies control A LOT of your life: your health, your mood, your happiness, your energy, your relationship status. (Okay, kidding… kind of.)
If you’re nodding along like “yeah, I know, my lady balls need a makeover!” you’re in the right place.
Because if you've been suffering from out-of-whack hormones and ovaries, you’d know.
You’d be dealing with one of these obnoxious plagues
(check all that apply)...
- PCOS, and all of the lovely symptoms that come with it!
- Fibroids, because having those removed are so fun!
- Endometriosis, another fun reason for surgery!
- Dryness down there, which makes being a lady super enjoyable!
- Painful, soul-sucking periods, the best part of being a woman!
- Life after hysterectomy, and the hormone fluctuations to match!
- Lacking in the lovin’ department, because it makes your hubby very happy!
- Weight gain, you didn’t wanna fit into those pants anyway!
- Breast tenderness, ugh.
- Perimenopause or menopause. Need I say more?
- Moodiness and irritability, that can only be (temporarily) fixed with chocolate fudge cake!
- Anxiety and depression, which might also keep you up at night, you night owl, you!
Let’s get serious for a second.
BECAUSE HERE’S A NOT-SO-FUN FACT --
The majority of PCOS, ovarian cysts, fibroids, endometriosis, painful periods, horrendously stabby PMS, anxiety, depression, and sometimes even weight gain stem from less-than-healthy ovaries and YUP, you guessed it: imbalanced hormones.
It’s kind of like this: Your ovaries are the driver and your hormones are the car. So, if your ovaries are DRUNK from unhealthy food, lack of supplemental support, a stressful lifestyle, terrible sleep, or even a chronic bad mood… you’re going to have hormones riding off the road all over the damn place!!
YES. It’s time to make some much-needed changes.
Let’s sober those ovaries UP!
Because, I mean, your lady balls aren’t gonna heal themselves.
That’s why you’re here.
You might be thinking — “but I’ve been to a hundred doctors (okay, five or ten) and they haven’t been able to help me. They’ve given me pills, put me on and off birth control, metformin, hormone supplements, etc etc etc, and I’m STILL dealing with the same chronic problems. (PLUS, more bills to match it. EEK!)”
Trust me, I get it. I’ve been there.
Which is part* of how I know that the solution to your hormone problems is NOT more pills or more stressful doctor’s visits, buuuuut it’s also not throwing your hands up in the sky and saying “EFF IT!” Even if you really want to. Frustration does that. I get it.
Your doctors might not have had an answer, but giving up is not the answer, either. There are simple, natural ways to heal your hormones that don’t require a bevy of appointments, prescriptions, and expenses.
*The other part of how I know all this? MAGIC! Just kidding, I’m a professional.
In case we haven’t met yet, I’m Melissa Ramos, the founder of Sexy Food Therapy and a nutritionist with a background in Chinese medicine.
My specialty? Helping women get their hormones back to balance and their bodies back on their team. I know firsthand how frustrating, painful, and scary hormone-related health issues can be. Long story short: I myself had an ovarian cyst that ruptured and caused so much internal bleeding that it could have killed me. But I’m recovered, I’m healthy, and I’m here to help you look, feel, and BE truly healthy (and sexy) from the inside out.
Because you’ve got a life to live!
My Sexy Food Therapy approach combines three critical factors to help you heal your hormones (okay, and digestion, #poopmatters).
Yes, nutrition impacts your hormones. Did you know that some foods can even chemically react like hormones in your body? YUP. But with some simple changes (and yummy recipes), you can start nourishing your body with foods that support your hormonal health goals instead of working against you.
I like to think of supplements as natural power boosters for your body’s internal organs. They help your body function optimally while you’re healing, which can otherwise be hard because healing takes a LOT of energy. Supplements also work by filling the therapeutic gaps that food cannot. With the right blend of herbs, tinctures, and supplement formulas, your body will be rocking and rolling in no time.
Truth: no amount of food and supplements can overcome the damage that chronic stress, toxic relationships, unhealthy work environments, bad attitudes, or lack of sleep creates. Your health depends on your habits and that goes for your hormonal health too.
Know what happens when you get your food, supplements, and lifestyle in check?
You become the incredible woman that you were meant to be...
- You tackle your dreams and passions head on with confidence and verve, no more putting it off or waiting until you’re “healthier”
- You get pregnant with ease – if that’s what you want, of course! (Hello, fertility!)
- You wear clothes that you LOVE instead of just “what fits,” because it’s time for you to feel sexy from the inside out and come OUT of hiding!
- You remember what having ENERGY feels like — no more midday slumps, exhaustion, or insomnia that makes you feel like crap the rest of the day!
- You get active without pain or fatigue, and use your body in all the ways you’ve always dreamt of!
- You drop the excess pounds like a bad habit because once those hormones are in check, your extra fat storage will fall in line and melt right off. (SAY IT AGAIN!)
- You have period days that feel like no big deal, instead of like an evil gremlin has taken up residence in your uterus with a chainsaw. (#beenthere)
The best part? Your possibilities are endless.
You’re ready for relief. You’re ready for freedom.
You’re ready to reclaim the life you really want to be living.
You’re ready to become a BALLER.
And you’re about to, because I know that you’re finally READY to make this commitment to YOURSELF.
Sexy Lady Balls
The program, community, and support you need to balance your hormones and become the Sexy Lady Baller you were truly meant to be.
In short, I created Sexy Lady Balls as a way to help more women like YOU get the customized nutrition, supplementation, and lifestyle support they really need, AND at a price they could afford. But as time went on, it became more and more clear to me that this community of women wanted more than that – they wanted each other. See, it’s one thing to get a protocol, or be told what you “should” do, but it’s another to have friends who GET IT and hold you accountable to making the changes you really want to make.
Enter: “THE BALLERS”
These women are your comrades, your besties, your cheerleaders, your girls. Because if I know one thing for sure, it’s this. Doing this whole “changing yourself for the better” thing is a whole lot easier with a tribe of like-minded ladies, going through the same journey as you. Women who truly understand the struggle and get what you’re going through.
These women know the pain of PCOS, the trials of fibroids, the heartbreak of finding out they’re once again NOT pregnant, or the trauma of needing an entire package of tampons on day ONE of their period. Yes, these things happen to LOTS of women. And 600+ of them are waiting for you inside SEXY LADY BALLS.
What’s it really like in there?
sexy lady ballsreally?
Sexy Lady Balls is a hormone-balancing membership program that provides its members with custom protocols, recipes, community, and ongoing group support.
But Sexy Lady Balls is more than a program, it’s a movement. Where women take charge of their hormonal health, and lives, together.
Check out what these Ballers have to say about their full experience...
Gretchen + Kim
PCOS, Acne, Weight Gain
Weight, Consistency and Plateauing
PCOS and Fibroids
What You’ll Get When You Become a Baller:
MONTHLY GROUP COACHING CALLS WITH YOURS TRULY
Imagine being able to get all of your hormone questions answered AND hear from others LIVE on the phone. You’ll get to do that once a month as a Baller. ($797 value)
THE SUPPLEMENT & FOOD PLAN
- A SUPPLEMENT PROTOCOL Upon joining, you’ll have access to the Sexy Lady Balls base supplement protocol that you can customize based upon your unique condition with my “Supplement Add-Ons.” Since everyone is different, it’s important to me to provide you with as much flexibility and individualization as possible. This is one of the many things that makes Sexy Lady Balls unique! ($297 value)
- YOUR FOOD GUIDELINES & PORTION CONTROL FORMULA so you’ll know what to eat, what to avoid, and when. ($97 value)
- 7 DAYS OF SUGGESTED MEALS specifically tailored to your hormonal needs so you can eat yummy food AND still heal. ($47 value)
- PERSONAL SHOPPING LISTS to make gathering the food you need to prep your meals as easy as possible. ($27 value)
INSIDER’S ACCESS TO ALL OF MY MOST POPULAR SEXY FOOD THERAPY RECIPES
Typically reserved for my private clients but you’ll get all of it and receive new recipes in your Sexy Lady Balls Digest email weekly. My most delicious, hormone-supportive meals and treats… and plenty that involve chocolate. ($97 value)
TWO VIDEO COOKING TUTORIALS
You’ll get step-by-step instruction on how to tackle this meal plan head on. Learn even how to adjust the recipes to your taste or to accommodate them based on any food sensitivities you may have. ($97 value)
THE SEXY FOOD THERAPY PORTION FORMULA
This formula makes figuring out “how much” to eat super simple and doable. ($47 value)
THREE YOGA NIDRA MEDITATIONS
Routines that will help you sculpt your body, increase fertility, energize your thyroid. Some of these stretches and exercises will also open key Chinese meridians to alleviate PCOS, ovarian cysts, and fibroids. ($197 value)
GUEST INTERVIEWS WITH HEALTH EXPERTS
Advice on topics such as naturopathic health, natural birth control, emotional well-being and balance, and bioidentical hormones (because #science). And that’s just to get you started. ($197 value)
THE PRIVATE SEXY LADY BALLS FACEBOOK GROUP
- MONTHLY MOTIVATIONAL CHALLENGES ranging from sleep to meditation challenges, these challenges are led by yours truly with additional livestreams and these have been designed to keep you on point with your protocol because #prizes! Who doesn’t like those? ($297 value)
- WEEKLY GROUP Q&A CALLS Got questions and require more guidance? Now you can get the answers you’re looking for during our weekly Facebook livestream coaching calls. ($800 value)
- THE BALLERS! YOUR COMMUNITY OF SUPPORTIVE SEXY LADIES – your cheerleaders, comrades, besties, and friends. You don’t know them yet, but soon you’ll ask yourself how you EVER tried to do any of this without them. Trust me. Did I mention you’ll also be matched with your very own accountability partner when you join? (Ummm… priceless?)
What is Sexy Lady Balls Worth?
Sexy Lady Balls is valued at approximately $2,997
What’s Your Investment?
for your first 3 months
and then $57 per month after
For a limited time!
(Normally $77/mo for your first 3 months and then $77 per month after.)
That’s less than a gym membership, less than your daily Starbucks habit (don’t lie to me), less than an hourlong spa massage, and about 214867347687 TIMES the value of your lifelong health, IF you can even put a price on your health. Can you? I don’t think so.
THIS IS YOUR LIFE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT!
PLUS, when you invest in your health, you’re also giving back to society. Literally.
A percentage of every sale of Sexy Lady Balls is going towards an initiative that helps provide menstrual products to homeless women.
So, when you make a commitment to take care of your Sexy Lady Balls, you’re helping at least one woman in need do the same.
How to Become a Baller...
- Click any of the JOIN NOW buttons you see here.
- You may use any major credit card to complete your purchase.
- Once you submit payment, you’ll get an immediate WELCOME email with all of your log-in details to access your content and join the Ballers online!
- You start healing those lady balls, fitting into your favorite clothes, having great poops, and enjoying WAY more energy (not to mention all the other amazing healthy benefits).
You might be thinking… “but I’ve already tried everything. How do I know THIS will work?”
First, let me say this: “I get it.” Most of the women who start this program are in the exact same place as you right now.
They’ve been to tons of doctors, they’ve been put on birth control or other hormone supplements which (of course) only makes things worse. They’ve been told that only surgery can help them. Or worse, they’ve been promised that whatever solution they’ve been given is the “only” way, over and over again, only to be disappointed when it also DOES NOT WORK.
Here is how Sexy Lady Balls is different...
Sexy Lady Balls is NOT a one-size-fits-all program.
It’s customized to YOU. When you join, you’ll get your own protocol to follow based on YOUR needs. So whether you’re allergic to nuts, intolerant to dairy, or have unique personal stressors that you think are getting in the way of your health, this program is here to help you.
You only get out of it what you put into it.
Sexy Lady Balls is not about FAST results, it’s about lasting impact. So while your results may feel magical, this program is not a “magic bullet.” It’s a natural approach based on food science, hormonal biology, and the principles of Chinese medicine. All that said, you have to commit to the program and do the work in order to heal.
You only need to give it your all for THREE MONTHS.
This is my test drive policy. I’m so confident that you’ll SEE results if you’re putting in the work that I personally guarantee it. If you do the work and don’t see results, you can cancel your membership ANYTIME after the first three months, no questions asked. After the first three months, your investment will be $57/month should you continue in the program.
Any other questions?
How does the payment situation work? What happens after I sign up?
Great question! By signing up, you’ll be registering yourself as an official “Baller,”. You will have committed to the program for the first three months, and since the program is a membership, you’ll be billed each month after those first three months on the same day each month. Because it takes time and consistency to see improvements in your health and hormones, I recommend that you commit yourself to the program for at least six months. Although, once you’re in, I don’t think you’ll ever wanna leave! #mafia All that said, you’re free to cancel at any time after the first three months.
Are my supplements included?
I wish I could include them at this price point! Unfortunately, the answer is NO, they are not included. But, you WILL get advice on where to buy exactly what you need so it’s as cost effective as possible.
Will the program be mailed to my home?
Also NOPE. This is a fully online program – and it’s accessible anywhere in the world from your laptop, tablet, or desktop computer! (Or even your smartphone!) Just 15 minutes after purchase you’ll get an email giving you immediate access to your membership materials and our private Facebook group!
How long do I have to stay in Sexy Lady Balls to see results?
This varies from person to person. I’ve seen cysts shrink in as little as TWO months, and hot flashes disappear in under two DAYS. That being said, your results and the time required within the program depends on two things: your individual case and your commitment.
What is your cancellation policy?
Are you thinking of leaving me before you’ve even gotten started? Girl…
I’m just teasing. I make it easy to cancel anytime after the first three months. Because I want you to give this program your ALL, I ask that you commit yourself for three months minimum. After that, you’re free to cancel whenever you’re “over” us. (Spoiler: you’ll never be “over” us!)
How about refunds?
This program is billed monthly so you can come and go as it suits you and your finances. However, we do not provide refunds. As long as you cancel your membership, you will not be billed.
What if I am I too old? Too young? Not active enough? Is this program for ME?
In a word, YES. This program is for you. Whether you’re in your 20s or 60s, hate exercise or fancy yourself a gym rat, or have raging PMS or raging peri-menopause, YOU are a hormonal creature. Sexy Lady Balls was designed for ALL women – we have Ballers of all shapes, sizes, ages, and lifestyles and it’s working for them. So, isn’t it time you joined us so it can start working for YOU too?
I’m SO tired of trying to heal my hormones. What if this is just “too hard?”
Okay, I’m about to answer a question with a question but – WHAT’S your alternative? To continue on a downward spiral with your health? Or keep going to doctors who have no answers for you? I’m going to level with you, because I’m not here to make promises that I cannot keep. Committing to Sexy Lady Balls will not be easy. YOU have to do the work and commit to the program in order to see the results. But, is it worth it? Um, YES.
The truth is that only YOU know what your health, life, and well-being is worth to you. I’m simply here to help you get there, and this is your official invitation to take a step in the right direction.
What if I have more questions? Can I get access to you?
Of course! Our monthly Q&A calls are designed just for that – so you can get all of your questions answered on the spot! In addition, I’m very active in our online community and pride myself on being highly responsive for any of your questions. And of course, if you decide you need more one-on-one support, you can always book a private session with me. If you have more questions regarding billing and payment, you can email our support team at email@example.com.
What's the cost of the program after the first three months?
The cost of the program monthly is $77/month, but because you joined and you are committed to making serious changes, the cost for you is only $57/month. The monthly cost kicks in after your first three months if you do not cancel.
Join Sexy Lady Balls Now for Only
for your first 3 months
and then $57 per month after
For a limited time!
(Normally $77/mo for your first 3 months and then $77 per month after.)
A Final Note From Melissa (that’s me)...
Listen, I’m no stranger to “hard times.” I once lived without furniture for 8 whole months in the interest of my health and being able to help women just like you. I had to quit a toxic job, practice nutrition by day, study Chinese medicine (also by day), and work other jobs at all hours in order to make it work. But make it work I DID.
Remember that sometimes, no matter how hard it is, change is necessary.
Anything is possible. You CAN heal your hormones, you CAN love your body, you CAN feel like your life is YOURS again.
What I know from my own story is this: your body will only wait for so long. It will only let you continue to work against it, against your hormones, for so long. Then it will tell you LOUD and CLEAR that what you’ve been doing is NOT working – and what seems subtle right now might become extreme, alarming, terrifying, and dangerous.
What I MOST want is for you is to take action NOW, before that happens.
Your body and your life can’t afford to wait.
And if I know anything about YOU, it’s this: YOU’RE WORTH IT.